Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

Recently I announced I was writing a new book entitled, “Paths – A Primer for Ladies-of-a-Certain Age,” tentatively to be published this autumn. The book is starting to take shape!  I am quite excited about it.  My blogs, for a good part of this year, cover the essence of each of the six chapters and address the most important questions that come up at this time of life.

Back then, when I stated the topic of this month’s blog, “How do I deal with physical changes?” I had no idea we would be dealing with major pandemic and constant news about health concerns. I don’t think I had even heard of coronavirus. This blog is all about the originally stated topic. It is not about coronavirus.

It occurred to me after writing almost 100 ladies-of-a-certain-age blog posts it might be helpful for women, just starting to recognize themselves as older, if I wrote a simple workbook, a primer as school books used to be called, about this time of life.  Also, since I have gotten stuck many times on this path of a lady-of-a-certain-age, it could be beneficial for others to review this material in an attempt to find the way again.

Each chapter has useful, practical hints and – of all things! – suggested homework, fun and insightful.  A helpful reading section will be provided. The primer could be used individually or in a group setting.  You will be able to purchase the book, either in paperback or kindle editions, on Amazon or a direct link from my site, www.ladiesofacertainage.com.

Choice is the goal of this blog and the corresponding chapter in my book.  The big takeaway is you consider YOUR CHOICES and YOUR HEALTHCARE. .  Just because the doctor says, just because husband says, just because daughter says or just because you-name-it says so, is no reason any lady-of-a-certain-age has to do what they say you have to do or ought to do. Neither this blog nor my book professes any specific course of action. Rather, I try and encourage the reader to do her own research and make up her own mind what is best for her.

I think this goal is going to be hard for the ladies-of-a-certain age in the first group of the Boomer generation.  I call women born in the Boomer years, Boomer Babes. There are two distinct groups: Those born between 1946 and 1954 and those in the time period 1955 and 1964. The second group sees the world very differently than the first group because of the rapid socioeconomic change that occurred in the United States following World War II.

The first group are unlikely to question doctors or most anyone in the medical profession because they were taught to respect authority or you could say “follow orders” since the country had just come out of war.

By the time Boomer Babes in the second group (1955 and 1964) came along, society started asking why – show me the data. (A little time flashback – The country had “adjusted” to Elvis if you will, and In 1964 “those British guys with the long hair,” the Beatles, hit the top of the American charts for the first time with their song, “I Want to Hold Your Hand.)

I did put a rather formal disclaimer at the end of this blog. For now I want you to know this is not medical advice, and I do not represent any of the healthcare organizations I used to work for. Oh, I am in the Boomer Babe Group No. 1. I was 17 when the Beatles song rocked the world.

At first taking care of our health seems quite simple at this age. After all, we have been taking care of ourselves for decades. But, our bodies do eventually wear out. What is likely to happen to them – from bones and teeth softening to blood vessels, joints, the muscle and valves of the heart and lungs stiffening — can scare the bejeepers out of you. And if that is not enough, pharmaceutical companies’ advertisements, vividly describe other deteriorating or diseased bodily functions. (While ladies-of-a-certain-age are certainly invisible to most companies in the United States, ladies-of-a-certain-age are the primary customer for many pharmaceutical and medical corporations and their gargantuan advertising budgets.)

It seems like we are constantly bombarded with health messages.

Where do we as ladies-of-a-certain start to choose how to deal with our health issues?

In my book I talk about topics such as dental health, dehydration, prolapse, including pessary information, behavior and emotional health, massage and body work, alcohol and drug addiction, isolation, helpful technology, meditation and the immense importance of exercise and your personal spiritual practice.

My book does not go into drugs, procedures or “recommended guidelines.” For these healthcare matters, I suggest before you commit you diligently research the topics on the web and talk to women who have chosen them. You do not immediately have to consent to these options no matter how much you are pressured to do so. I have written two blogs about those subjects. You can read them here: “Health, Docs and Pills” and “Health – What If?”

But, before the book goes into all of these important topics, I suggest we first consider how we want to die.

This might seem outrageous to you. Let me tell you a little personal experience that showed me how logical and practical this idea is. In 1986 my 68-year-old father told me in April his cancer had returned and he was terminal. August 6 he died. The last four months of his life were spent in a hospital. He underwent lots of procedures and took lots of drugs. He and his wife made those choices based on his doctors’ recommendations. Even today, I feel cheated I did not get to spend quality time with my father.

That experience – far more than the years I spent in healthcare marketing – has guided my choices on how I deal with aging and dying. Yes, I have a living will – advanced directives – and I have talked many times with my family about them. AARP’s Amanda Singleton states, “Clear, written health care direction is a gift to those who love you.”

“Being Mortal – Medicine and What Matters in the End,” by Atul Gawande, M.D. solidified my thinking and feelings. It is my number one healthcare book recommendation.

“Live not one’s life as though one had a thousand years, but live each day as the last,” Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius.

Disclaimer: 1. I hold a masters degree in marketing and have decades of experience working in senior management positions for these organizations: American Cancer Society Rocky Mountain Region, Novartis Pharmaceuticals Generics Division and the University of Colorado Hospital; 2. I do not represent these organizations anymore; 3. I receive no compensation whatsoever for this blog or any of my blogs; 4. This blog is not supported by advertising and 5. None of what I write is medical advice.

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler April 2, 2020