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(Sign-up for my e-newsletter – just below the about information on this website – to get advanced notice of the blog post along with nutritious easy recipes and news just for “us.” )
Several weeks ago, I was talking with my 52-year-old daughter about my tax preparation. She and her 50-year-old sister are my executors. I reminded her who was doing my taxes and how she could get a copy if needed. Also, I mentioned several other bits of information she might require and told her I would send them to her.
“Oh, Mom, you don’t need to do all that. After all, I know how to get into your phone and can get all the info if need be,” she irritability said.
Well, maybe so, honey, I thought. But I am still going to put a folder in my desk drawer entitled “Who Ya Goin’ to Call?” to make sure you have all the information and no one will be forgotten, just in case my phone gets lost. I know this is like going back to the dinosaur age! Then, I giggled.
You see, I live in an area of Colorado that used to be home to dinosaurs. I love the giant statue of Grrreta, the dinosaur who greets me when I go to the nearby town of Fruita.
In the past six months or so, I have lost several friends. Also, I have been involved in settling a family estate. This subject is near and dear to my heart.
Today, this daughter holds a master’s degree, so, of course, she is intelligent and did not learn to type on a manual typewriter like her maternal grandmother and I did. I laughed out loud when I remembered the first time she attended a college class in 1970. She was three months old. I had just started attending the University of Colorado Graduate School of Business at night.
The professor told our advertising class of approximately 50 people, 99 percent male, something about “BFD.” I didn’t know what “BFD” stood for, and went home and asked my 24-year-old husband. He laughed and said it stood for “Big FUCKING Deal.”
In 1970, you never saw that word in print. Also, in 1970, I learned in that advertising class that belly buttons, cleavage, and other bodily parts were air-brushed out. These are eye-opening examples of how life has changed for “us” as I detail in my book, “Paths – A Primer for Ladies of a-Certain Age. A Workbook for the Road Ahead.”
Fifty-some years later, I realize what a bellwether event that was. First, I, a female, me, was attending a graduate advertising class at one of the top universities in the country. Second, I brought my baby to class. Third, the baby ‘sang’ while nursing during the class. (I am happy to report the professor took all of this in stride and helped me get that degree!)
So, you see, I have a very, very bright daughter who has attended the university from a very early age!
Now, I needed to decide what information to put in this folder. (I’m attaching the picture of the Fruita dinosaur on the front, thinking a little humor might help her open it when the time comes.)
I immediately thought about the people I had listed in my “fifth” circle, those who provide me with essential services, that my daughter might not have an inkling who they are. Over 10 years ago, I learned about the importance of circles in our lives from Dr. Ellie Greenburg, Ph.D., and member of the Colorado Women’s Hall of Fame. On a sunny October 2012 afternoon, I took her “Challenges for Women Over 60” class at Denver’s Lifelong Learning Center.
Several years ago, I wrote about this and other circles in our lives in a blog, The Fifth Circle – Essential Friend. These people are our providers of essential services. In my folder, I included: my hairstylist, the company that cuts my lawn, the HOA (homeowners Association) where I live, my yoga teacher, and pickleball coordinator. I also included a list of my friends, many of whom have never met my daughter, and organizations I belong to, such as my beloved movie club. I looked at my monthly calendar to make sure I had accounted for everyone.
Of utmost importance, I want to make sure she knows how to get in touch with Joyce Cerretti, my long-time friend who is instrumental to this e-newsletter and blog, as well as the cover designer for my books. Joyce could help my daughter get a notice out to you, my dear readers.
Ellie’s class became the foundation for Paths—A Primer for Ladies-of-a-Certain Age— A Workbook for the Road Ahead. This year, I am publishing a Kindle version of that book and dedicating it to her. She generously advised me throughout the whole process. Unfortunately, Dr. Greenberg passed in 2021.
You know, come to think of it, I bet dinosaurs had snarky daughters, too!
Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, March 16, 2023
