Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

For sure! I must be becoming “an old lady.”  While seating in my rocking chair, I was flooded with memories – beautiful reminiscences of Christmastime.  I reveled in my thoughts and was surprised they were enjoyable.  So many “old ladies” have bitter memories of days gone by.  So, I was surprised with how happy I felt.

It occurred to me that I obsess about certain people in my life.  I am usually upset with them and am even more troubled about their behavior at the holidays.  I am so tired of these people and their antics. If I could alleviate these obsessions, most of my recollections would be as happy as these Christmas memories.  Like a brilliant guiding star, my thoughts directed me to a process that might very well help alleviate the difficulties I have “these characters.”

But, before I bring you, dear reader, to this manger, so to speak, I want to recall some of these Christmas memories .  You might do the same with your life.  I am going to keep this list and dig it out the next time Christmas isn’t “going so well.”

Me, sister Jan, cousins Marilyn and Philip Bruce

•  The joy of finding those blue bicycles Christmas morn at ages 6 and 10.

• Caroling with my sister and two cousins after a wonderful Italian Christmas dinner at my aunt and uncle’s home in Pueblo. My cousin Philip Bruce played the tuba as we three little girls sang. The neighbors were enamored with our quartet! (I love attending the Tuba Christmas concert in Denver each year.)

• Going downtown on the Denver trolley with my Aunt Jean and Mom to see the unbelievable mechanical displays in all of the department store windows – why there are elves making trains in the Denver Dry Goods Co. window, kids skating on a lake in the Joslins windows, and Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus in the Neusteters windows.

• My little daughter Robyn going with me downtown in the 1970s to see the same displays and then having lunch at the Denver Tea Room with her grandfather and my father Bob Wheeler.

• Back-country skiing Christmas Eve Day with good friend Debbie and then coming home and serving a fantastic Italian dinner to my family and friends who had no place to go that special night.

• The Christmas we finally had enough money after all those college years to give our children a bountiful Christmas.

• The call from Mrs. Latimer on Christmas Eve evening 1970 when my oldest child was 7-months old. About 10 years before, she and her husband had moved into the house next to the one I grew up in to help her son-in-law George raise his four children after his wife and her daughter Marian suddenly died. The oldest child was just two years younger than me. Mrs. Latimer had never called me before. I don’t know how she knew I was so lonely. My mother had died six years before, my dad was off with his new wife, and my sister stayed in her college town for the holidays.

• The potluck Christmas parties my friend Sandy had in her lovely bungalow, decorated to the hilt, in the early 1990s. About 50 women attended these fetes, many were members of the Denver Women’s Press Club.

• Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus coming to my house on a motorcycle the Christmas Eve of 1986. Our family holiday gathering had been so glum before they arrived – my dad died that year and both me and husband were unemployed. The merry ol’ couple brought us the Christmas Spirit for sure.

There is more to my list, which I will add later for my personal use. Now, I want to talk about where that star brought me, the process that has led me to a peace I have not had in years.

When I was a little girl, my mother would haul me each autumn to our local church for a novena, a special 9-day prayer event to “obtain graces and favors.”  While I no longer attend that church or any church for that matter, I decided to set aside time for nine days for prayer and meditation, regarding the people who bothered me so much.

Winter Solstice

I journaled, I thought, I took walks with my dog Bonnie Buttercup, I talked to my understanding of the Most High, and I used “Hands of the Ancients Medicine Cards – Guidance from the Four Courners,” created by my friend and water colorist Jan Wright.  (She lives in an earthen roof house near Mancos, Colorado and has served as Artist-in-Residence at Mesa Verde National Park.)

When I thought of a particular person, I would pull one of the cards, each of which depict rock art, pottery, dwellings and tools made by the ancient people who liked in the Four Corners of the United States, including Colorado, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico.  These cards were helped me to understand the people I was concerned about.

The booklet that accompanies the cards conveyed to  me astounding spiritual insights.  For example, the card, “North Direction,””North is the direction of wisdom coming from the experience of old age. …We must accept others’ paths as their own and let go of our judgments, even though they may have chosen such a different path;”  “Winter Solstice,” card, “…..The Return of Light was and is today reason enough to celebrate, even with more months of dark and cold to be survived.  …….perhaps it is time to create a celebration of the Return of YOUR Light in dealing with a particular situation; “ and from my favorite card, “Doorways,” – “Journey out into the Universe and beyond with an intention to create a new scenario in your life.  Dream a new reality into your existence.”

At the end of my novena, I comprehended that to have peace – the peace of the manger – I had to forgive each of these people, a tall order. I asked for some help from Above.

Doorways