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Did you have a “Hallmark” Fourth of July, spending the day with family or friends, or were you all alone this holiday?
Several of my friends spent the day alone and talked about how difficult it was.
“I’ve got six kids, but they live all over the country,” Sherry said. I see each of them at various times of the year, but it is hard not to have family with me now.”
“I was a bitch all day, Pat announced in a phone message to me.
“I’m feeling a little bummed, Kathy explained. I was supposed to do some stuff with friends, but it fell through.
Well, well, well. I thought I was the only one not happy because I was alone on the Fourth of July. I guess I am not that unique after all!
It’s not unusual for ladies-of-a-certain -age to spend a holiday alone. Children have left home, moved far away,and/or married and gained in-laws. Spouses have died or left the marriage or are out on athletic adventures with friends.
I have spent a number of holidays alone. The phrase, “It’s just another day, after all,” has never provided much comfort. I have learned a few things that help me at these times, and I thought I would pass them on to you.
- There are “Hallmark” holidays and then there is “the real deal.” Like Sherry I remember that holidays can be stressful and no fun. Sherry said she thought about all the holidays she had spent with her family. She recalled all the work in making special food (fried chicken!) the irritating son-in-law and the bickering grandchildren and their parents. So, I try and not romanticize the day.
- Remembering others might be in the same situation as me, I inquire weeks ahead if any of my friends are going to be alone. If they are, I see if we can do something together, if only for part of the day, or maybe enjoy a meal together at a restaurant or at my house.
- Holiday food is wonderful. I like to make some of the dishes just for me.
- Movie theaters are always open, even on Christmas Day. Going to a movie and eating a bag of popcorn always improve my mood.
- Dogs don’t know it is a holiday. Mine have always appreciated an extra long walk or trip to the doggie park.
- Extra sleep, a good book, special food, a long walk are always wonderful for me.
Finally, I am going to make an effort to find volunteer opportunities for each holiday. It would be a great way to spend the day and maybe make new friends.
Would love it if you shared your comments about what you do when you are alone on a holiday.
4 Comments
July 6, 2015 at 4:27 pm
I had to laugh at my July 4th, as all the day before I had thought was July 4; then I was surprised when I didn’t hear or see fireworks in the distance that night! Ha! Wrong day!
I’ve been suffering with shingles and the postherpetic aftermath for nine weeks now. A friend gave me a talkin’ to about building up my stress again with more and more stuff to do, when I was “supposed” to take it easy, rest, recuperate, and heal from this dreaded disease. She believes I have not healed as much as I should have by now because I’ve allowed stress back into my life.
So I spent The Fourth, the real one, attempting to meditate, relax, read some, watch some favorite movies, and Just BE! It was wonderful!
July 7, 2015 at 1:12 am
Bonnie Buttercup is looking as beautiful as ever. Great photo in your email.
Not sure what to suggest to others who were feeling alone during this past holiday weekend. I thought I might try to get a seat at DCPA for Wicked — even thought of calling you, Elizabeth, to see if you were interested. I checked online late at night for tickets, but couldn’t get the thing to work. Didn’t mow my lawn Fri. afternoon, so knew I would need to do it on the Fourth. Gave up the thought of seeing Wicked, because I knew I wanted to drive down on Sunday to the new LL Bean store to return some items, and also to see what it was like. I kept thinking, shouldn’t I be feeling lonely on this holiday? I would have enjoyed being with family and friends, but I have to admit I was feeling fairly content. Maybe because I had other things to occupy my time.
My visit to LLBean was a delighful shopping experience. I went late in the day, so it wasn’t that busy. All the staff were very friendly, and so attentive. The minute I walked through the door, I was greeted by the cashier, a lovely young woman wearing a headscarf/hijab, who couldn’t have been kinder processing my return. When I then asked her about some items, she walked me to the spot, and then walked me to the fitting room. As I tried on more clothing, another saleswoman spent a lot of time helping me out. (Elizabeth, I wanted to write some of this about LLBean on your most recent fashion blog, but I guess it was too far back, because I couldn’t access it. You said on there that you felt LLBean clothing didn’t meet your standards for quality; I’ve been a long-time Bean shopper (online), and have always been pleased with their products and return policy). My visit to the store impressed me even more. And without getting political, I was delighted to see that one of their employees was allowed to wear her head scarf, esp. after the incident at Abercombie and Fitch. I left the store feeling buoyant and that it was a wonderful way to end the Fourth.
So I would say that my holiday weekend was a fulfilling one. But the next time a holiday rolls around, maybe we should check with one another’s status and possibly plan some type of outing.
July 8, 2015 at 7:54 pm
Yes, I have spent holidays alone, however, I have just reacquainted with my family – my cousins – who moved here from Atlanta. Have spent the last two July 4ths with them. However, we are all older and are trying to make the effort to get together for holidays. My son still comes around and we do go to movies on holidays, or do organized walk/runs on holidays and go to dinner. I know this will not be forever. Too many families are so far apart. I find it sad. I have family all over also. I wish more families would realize this and really make the effort (mine included). I say that we make an effort to all try to do something on the next holidaday. How about a scarf party, or a wine get together or a fall plant party. The holidays I am usually working also. Everyone try to pamper yourselves. (I do like being by myself and reading or knitting)
July 8, 2015 at 7:55 pm
I love Bonnie and of course Trixie Sue, who is on my hand while I am typing this lol