Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

Yeah!  I got to visit with several old friends this holiday season.  There is nothing like talking with a buddy.  We covered lots of topics I only discuss with people I feel close to and comfortable with. I always learn something, and my burdens — if you will — are lessened.

With the start of the new year, I wanted to share with you these nine quick tips for health, wealth and happiness that I gleaned.  Here goes:

Health

Sugar consumption and prediabetes 

Recently, I was diagnosed as prediabetic.  Neither my doc nor I could believe it because I’m a “skinny chick.”  Some of my friends have dealt with this concern too.  I told my friends  my oldest daughter said, “Mom, you are always eating something sweet.”  (There’s nothing like a daughter to point out the errors of your ways!). Well, I took a look at what she said.  Yep, I do have a cookie or sweet with mid-morning coffee, another for a snack in the afternoon, and – in my opinion—dinner is not complete without dessert.  Also, I shared with my friends, except for one aunt who developed diabetes in her 80s, no one else in my family had. I always thought it was because she loved to bake cakes. I learned the condition is part of the aging process. Maybe more of my relatives would have been diabetic if they had lived long enough.  I have already outlived many of my relatives.  

I started looking at the nutritional information for the food and beverages I consumed and was amazed at how much sugar was in them.  So, I switched what I ate and drank to those with less sugar.  Also, I cut the proportion; for example, instead of eating say a whole cookie, I ate part of one.  

Sleep aid: foot massage before going to bed

When the subject of sleep came up, I shared with my friends that there’s nothing like after getting my pajamas on and sitting on my bed, to massage my feet with lotion.  Then I put socks on and climb into a warm bed!

It’s fascinating how you can rub out aches and stress from different parts of the feet.  Circulation is improved too.

A unique piece of exercise equipment

Of course, my buddies and I talked about our pets.  I shared how my exercise routine changed after my beloved Airedale Terrier, Bonnie Buttercup, died in June.  I just did not go out walking by myself.  

Walking is one of the best exercises for ladies-of-a-certain age: Weight control and bone strength are frequently noted as major benefits.  I have found that walking always improves my mood.  There’s nothing like being outdoors, noticing what’s new in nature that day, and talking with neighbors.  My new dog, Dolly, who is mostly Airedale and Australian Shepard, now is my best physical and mental piece of “exercise equipment.” I use “it” every day.

Wealth

Money inventory

A couple of my friends are going through challenging marital problems.  They have been married for many years.  We talked about knowing where your money is located.  Like me, my friends delegated accounting and finances to their mates.  I recalled when my former husband was on a business trip, I investigated our finances.  It was a real shock.  I thought he made far more money than he did. 

Regardless of marital status, the financial disclosure form used in the divorce or separation process is a great way to organize and summarize finances. The form is available on the Internet.

Does your executor or family member know where your money is or even the key to your house?

Another friend told me about her brother’s visit over the holidays.  He is her executor.  She realized if something happened to her, he would not even know how to get into her house, nor would he know her finances or passwords.

This story really impressed me because a good friend of mine had a severe stroke while holiday shopping this year. Fortunately, the store employees recognized something was wrong and called an ambulance. This woman is very physically fit and often beats me in pickleball.  It impressed upon me to make sure my executor and medical durable power of attorney have updated information such as health insurance, medicare card, and a copy of my driver’s license.

Previous blogs and chapter four in my book Paths – A Primer for Ladies-of-a-Certain Age A Workbook for the Road Ahead,  It’s 3 a.m. in the Morning. Do You Know Where Your Money Is? (July, 2017) and Where Does Money Come Into All of This? have more information.

What Happens To You If You Run Out of Money When You Are in a Nursing Home?

Another friend shared she was concerned that she and her siblings might have to pay for their mother’s nursing home care when her mom ran out of money.  I remembered this was a concern former neighbors had.  They sold the mother’s home to pay for expenses., Medicaid paid when all of their mother’s financial resources were exhausted.  Now, the internet can answer many financial questions.  I forwarded this link to my friend: Who Pays for a Nursing Home When You Run Out of Money?

Happiness

During the visits with my friends, I shared with them three gems I have recently discovered to help me be happy.  They told me about techniques they were using, many of which were similar to mine.

Stay out of murky waters 

I do have a close friend of many, many years who I have never formally met or talked with.  Her name is Melody Beattie.  She has authored numerous books, including More Language of Letting Go.  Each morning while I am eating breakfast, I read the daily excerpt.  Monday, December 13, I read this one  entitled “Let go of afflicted emotional streams.”  

Melody wrote, “Most teachers of our times and from times long past—from the Dalai Lama to Emmet Fox—agree on one thing:  stay away from murky, afflicted emotional streams.  Avoid them at all costs.”  She listed some afflicted streams such as envy, regret, resentment victimization, and fear.  That reading resonated with me.  I came up with a slogan for myself so I could easily remember this concept:  “Stay out of Murky Waters.”  My happiness has increased.

E rimetti a noi i nostri debiti

Come noi li rimettiamo ai nostri debitori

When I was studying Italian in the 1990s, I would attend Mass at Denver’s Mount Carmel Catholic Church because Mass was celebrated in Italian, a language not passed down to me by my maternal family who immigrated from Southern Italy. My grandfather was born a block away from this incredibly beautiful church.  

As a result, I learned a number of Catholic prayers in Italian, including the Lord’s Prayer.  The mystery I am writing, Murder and a Blue Spruce takes place in this neighborhood.  Ellen, the female sleuth and a lady-of-a-certain-age, attends a funeral mass at this church and hears the priest and congregation say, E rimetti a noi i nostri debiti Come noi li rimettiamo ai nostri debitori, which means in English, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Recently, I have read books by both Emmet Fox, a spiritual leader during the depression, and Tiny Turner’s new book on her spirituality, Happiness Becomes You.  Both expound on a daily practice to forgive.  

Hold Up That Stop Sign

It’s easy to get off on a negative tangent.  Several of my friends knew about this technique to get their brain and mouth to stop: hold up a stop sign in your head.  It works just like the actual one.

Disclaimer: Since its inception in 2013, this blog has not been financially or otherwise supported by any company or entity.  

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, January 5, 2022