Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

Time and TLC just don’t seem to go together with Ladies-of-a-Certain-Age.  After all, aren’t women – especially older women – expected to give and give and give to their employers, spouses, children, families, community and co-workers? Time just for them? No way!

But, actually, time and  tender loving care is exactly what women of a certain age need as they go through numerous transitions in the later third of their lives. At least, I do.

I have recently come to understand how important TLC is by reading numerous articles about taking time when you go through transition.

Transition can be such things a menopause, retirement, death of a child, spouse or parent, divorce, financial change or health problems.

For me, stopping the ongoing busyness of my routine life – and hopping off the squirrel cage of activity –  and  rest, like 8 hours or more sleep every day are the hardest and most important things I can do for me now.

Over 20 years ago, I first became aware of how important it was for me to take a time out and to have sleep, good food,  and creature comforts when I accompanied my son’s English class to London for a couple of weeks.  Our home base was an old hotel in London – I think it was called the Kennedy Hotel.  Every morning I went down to the dining hall for breakfast, and then enjoyed leisurely tours of historic places.  But, the best part, was coming back to the hotel, having dinner in the dining room, and then going to bed early.  I can’t tell you how this simple routine helped me.  I was relaxed for the first time since having children.

“Inner time is especially needed at the beginning of a new season of your life,” Jean Shenoda Bolan

Now I am going through another transition. I know longer really have to work, and I am wondering what to do with the last third of my life (as if I knew I had 20 or 30 more years!.)  I don’t know why knowing what to do is so important now; after all, I really never planned out the first two-thirds of my life.  Much of what I have done involved growing up, having and raising three children, and supporting myself in a profession that I enjoyed; but, which was very stressful. (public relations, dealing with the media on sensitive subjects, planning and executing huge special events, and motivating staff in a stifling environment.)

So, I am going to take some time now, just for me, a personal sabbatical if you will.   I wanted to take time when I divorced: I just wanted to spend a summer in a cabin on a Minnesota lake. But, I didn’t. Last year I wanted to go on a Mediterranean cruise, but the countries I would see were in economic and civil strife (not  exactly restful.) I have decided to relinquish all of my volunteer activities. I really did not think I volunteered much; but, when I made a list, I was surprised how much I did do. Then, I am going to do whatever I want – for a whole year.

“Take rest; A field that has rested  gives a beautiful crop,” Ovid. 

Well, in my old age I sleep more than I ever have in my life.  There are no children to take care of, business deadlines to meet, a big house and tons of laundry to clean, or  a nasty husband to appease. I like getting my jammies on shortly after 8 p.m. and climbing into a warm bed by 9.  Three things help me get to sleep right away: socks on my feet, a warm cup of milk with melted chocolate chips in it and a marshmallow floating on the top, and my cat, who is the best cuddlier in the world. Her name is Trixie Sue.

TLC to me also means eating nutritious and delicious food. I love to make soups and salads from veggies I have grown in my garden.

Then there are nails – fingernails and toenails.  I can always tell how good I am taking care of myself by the condition of my nails. Weird – but, I don’t really like getting a manicure or pedicure.  It does feel good once in a while. Massage, God I love massages!  During my sabbatical, I plan on getting more than one a month.  Of course, yoga is very nurturing and sitting in a steam room afterward is divine.

Working in my garden is always refreshing and playing with that very silly, silly ballplayer, Bonnie Buttercup, an Airedale terrier, gives me the best medicine – laughter.

Oh, yes, as many of you know, cups of tea and goodies with friends by the fireplace or on the patio is a little bit of heaven on earth.

I might decide to extend this sabbatical out the remainder of my time here on earth.