Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

“My house is me and I am It. My house is where I Want to be and it looks like all of my dreams” Daniel Pinkwater

Not every woman moves after they retire, but many do.  They want a smaller house or a location that doesn’t require shoveling snow or they want to be closer to grandkids, or, their husbands want to — or, or, or —— Lots of reasons.

Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances why women move later in life.  It may be perpetuated by health concerns, the death of a spouse, divorce, economic reasons, need to care for grandkids or elderly parents, etc.

Even if you are planning on not moving, you never know for sure what’s ahead in the later third of life. This information then may come in very helpful to you. 

In this blog I cover the essence of chapter five, which deals with housing needs in the latter third of life, from my new book entitled, “Paths – A Primer for Ladies-of-a-Certain Age,” tentatively to be published this autumn.

It occurred to me it might be helpful for women, just starting to recognize themselves as older, if I wrote a simple workbook, a primer as school books used to be called, about this time of life.  Also, since I have gotten stuck many times on this path of a lady-of-a-certain-age, I thought it could be beneficial for others to review this material in an attempt to find the way again. Each chapter includes a resource section, suggested “homework” or exercises, and blogs I have written on each subject. 

This blog will outline the main considerations of moving in the later third of life.  These include:

1. Deciding where to start in your planning process

2. Clearly and succinctly defining why you want to move

3.  Determining where you want to live

4.  Looking at different types of housing and associated costs

5.  Selling your current home

6.  Moving process

7.  Establishing yourself in a new community

Deciding where to start in your planning process

You may already know that you want to move or that you should move. You may already know where you want to move to and what type of housing you will be settling into.  You may not.

 However, sometimes our conscious mind does not divulge our true needs and desires. It’s best to find these out before you go through “all the trouble of moving!”

 A good place to start the planning process is to do a little dreaming.  Here are some suggestions:  1. Remember when you were a little girl and you thought about what life was like if you were a princess, a movie star, a nurse, a doctor, a teacher, etc.  Now, envision yourself in various roles for your latter third of life. Perhaps, you want to be a writer, an artist, a scratch golfer, a nonprofit leader, etc.  Then, with each role, imagine where you would live. Write the various answers down in a notebook.  2. Remember your bedroom as a child. What was it like? What did you like – the color of the walls, the windows, your bed, etc.  Write down what you remember in the same notebook.  3. Go to your library and see if they have a stack of old magazines you might have.  Go through them and cut out any pictures of places that you are attracted to.  Glue them on a large poster board and put it in your office or wherever you have your own space.

I went through this process. It helped me clarify what I wanted, and it also showed me how impractical some of my dreams were.  I really enjoy where I live now and love my house.  Believe it or not, what I enjoyed most of my childhood bedroom, which I shared with my sister, were the corner windows.  They let in so much light and a view of our neighbor’s trees and rose garden.  Well, guess what? My house now has big tall windows with views of trees and rose gardens. 

Clearly and succinctly define why you want to move

Write this definition down. You may want to refer to it later when you are dead tired and the moving van is coming the next day.  Your answer may include such things as I don’t want a house payment. I don’t want to pay all these taxes. I never want to shovel snow again. I want to live close to my kids. These stairs are killing me. I want a new house or I want an old house or I want a different house.  I want to be able to walk to the grocery store.  I want to live in a college town so I can attend classes and presentations.

This was my reason to move: I want to live away from a large city where my spirit is drawn to the beauty of the land, the clean air, the quiet and the natural world close by.

These sources my be helpful: The Relocation Decision – AARP

 8 Questions To Help You Decide Whether To Move In Retirement – Forbes

Determining where you want to live

You may already know. You may not.  You may have a general idea.  If you know where you want to live or have a general idea, you may want to spend some time in the location to see how it really is.  If you don’t know where you want to live, visiting various locations might bring you clarity.  Also, you may want to get in touch with groups you are likely to join when you move. Meeting people of like interest may help you decide if a specific community is for you.  One woman told me she attended church services in different cities she was looking at and talking to members afterwards.

Looking at different types of housing and associated costs

In days gone by, the choices were pretty narrow. Now, there is a plethora of housing choices for seniors.

Here are some options: Single family home, one-level home, apartment, duplex, condominium, “lock and leave community,” retirement community, 50+ community, low-income apartments, alley houses, mobile homes, communal housing, extended care and assisted living.

Each type of housing has its associated cost. This may include: homeowners fee – monthly or yearly, property taxes, housing insurance, utilities, maintenance.  While these costs can be estimated, many other costs can’t and can just arise.  A good house inspection may identify many of these but not all. 

I found this publication from the University of Idaho to be very informative, especially the “retirement housing checklist”.

If you are considering a loan or mortgage, this article from U.S. News &World Report is enlightening.

Selling your current home

Lots could be written under this section.  Here are some main bullet points:

• If you haven’t bought or sold a house in the past little while, you are probably going to be in a real shock. For one thing, much of the process is handled completely electronically.
• Goggle zillow.com, realtor.com and trulia.com and type in your address. Each of these real estate sites will give you an estimated value for your home.  This will give you a good idea of the sales price for yours. Also, put in the addresses of homes near you that are similar to yours that have recently sold. This information will help clarify the asking price for your home and the pictures will give you a good idea of the condition and appeal of houses that have sold.
• Go to several open houses and see the condition of the homes for sell.
• Interview at least three real estate agents to determine if you can work with them, what their commission fee is (yes, it varies!) and their strategy for selling your home.
• Have an inspection done before you list the property.  Yes, it will cost you money, but it will also tell you what repairs are needed. Best you find out now  and fix the issue(s) before anything becomes a sticking point during the inspection process.
• Clean, clean, clean!
• It may be shocking when someone half your age, with different views on life and houses, tours your home.

Moving process

Much of it depends on how far away you are going to move to, your finances and physical and emotional health.  If you use a moving company, get at least three estimates.  Packing is very strenuous and can be expensive.  Family and friends may be available to you, or you may need to hire someone.  Boxes are often available from stores such as supermarkets, furniture and liquor stores.  Investigate the cost of various packing materials. If you are on Nextdoor.com , an internet site for neighborhoods all over the country, you may be able to find moving boxes, often yours for picking them up.  This is a good way of getting rid of the boxes after you have unpacked at your new home.

Establishing yourself in a new community

This is key for ladies-of-a-certain-age because isolation can be very depressing.  Investigate and go to various functions. You don’t have to commit to any of them.  Start establishing yourself with the network you have now.  This could include: churches, 12-step meetings, volunteer groups, fabric arts groups, library book clubs, etc. Many communities have newcomer groups and meet-up groups.

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, June 9, 2020