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Seven years ago, this blog popped into existence. The simple post was seven words long, “Hello World.” Several friends gallantly applauded my efforts in the comments section. The next month in the post entitled, “The Day I Knew I Had Become Invisible,” I got down to the nitty-gritty of why I was doing this. I wrote, “The purpose of this blog is to bring awareness to our group, provide support and information to women of a certain age, and maybe just get out my own frustrations.”
It occurred to me after writing almost 100 posts it might be helpful for women, just starting to recognize themselves as older women, if I wrote a simple workbook, a primer as school books used to be called, about this time of life. Also, since I have gotten stuck many times on this path of a lady-of-a-certain-age, it could be beneficial for others to review this material in an attempt to find the way again.
So, I am starting to write just such a book entitled, “Paths – A Primer for Ladies-of-a-Certain Age,” to be tentatively published this autumn. Answers to these six questions seem the most important at this time of life:
1. Who am I now?
2. What lies ahead?
3. How do I deal with physical changes?
4. Where does money come into all of this?
5. Why and when I may need different housing?
6. Will I have a purpose?
Each chapter will have helpful, practical hints and – of all things! – suggested homework. A bibliography will be provided. It could be used individually or in a group setting. You will be able to purchase the book, either in paperback or kindle editions, on Amazon or a direct link from my site, www.ladiesofacertainage.com.
Beginning with this blog and the next several months, except April, I will cover the gist of each topic. Please let me know any suggestions you have.
So here goes – Who Am I Now?
A crone, dear. We are post-menopausal women with tons of life experience.
I wanted to call this blog, “Chronicles for Crones,” but my friends vigorously protested!
Seems I am only one of a few American women today that respects the word crone. Most people associate the word with a mean nasty old woman, instead of one with much wisdom.
I wish I could say that the older American woman today are as revered as they were in ancient Irish or American Indian history. Today, in many parts of the world, older women are valued for their knowledge, experiences and just because they are older women.
In this country life for women of all ages began to change in World War II because labor was needed for war efforts and for jobs previously held by men, who were now off to war. When the men came home, women returned to their homes. But, something began to change for a number of older women. Their daughters and families started moving away from small towns and farms to cities. The family structure began to alter.
Then, the sixties came! Gloria Steinem published “Ms. Magazine,” the feminist movement gained speed, and many women started working outside their homes.
It was a time when today’s ladies-of-a-certain-age were teenagers. Many went off to college, burned their bras, started taking those new birth-control pills, and demanded equality.
The next decade saw even more change. Perhaps you remember in the 1970’s male and female “help wanted” sections in the newspaper, accounts for utility and telephone companies in the name of husbands’ only, and only men had credit cards. Laws were beginning to be passed to change some of this equality.
Before we hit age 50, young women like us were seen on television and advertisements. After the golden age of 50, we started to become invisible. After all, our family formation years were over. Those are the “big buck years” for companies. Our hair started to turn gray and we often lost our “womanly shape.” Youthful looks sold products and services. Frankly, most advertisers, except for pharmaceutical and beauty product companies, were not interested in us.
The structure of the American family changed dramatically. Many families no longer lived in the same community, divorce rates increased, even after many years of marriage, and same-sex unions came to light.
No wonder the lady-of-a-certain-age is invisible. Generally speaking, she is no longer working, her family lives far away, and her marital situation had changed. But, her life continues.
In “PrimeTime Women,” the author marketing guru Marti Barletta writes , “…But today’s PrimeTime Women™ are radically different from their counterparts of decades past – they are vibrant, healthy, active, and enormously influential. They know what they want, and they’re willing (and able) to pay for it.”
There you have it, ladies. That is who we are!
Now we have the time and talent to explore what we always wanted to be.
But, before you head to chapter two, a little homework is in order to prepare you for this amazing journey.
Suggested homework:
1. Write every single day in your journal. If you don’t have a journal, start one today. Write more than one page.
2. Each week take yourself out for a little adventure. Explore something you always were interested in. If nothing comes to mind, go to a book store that has a coffee shop. Peruse the magazine section and pick up several that grab your attention. Get your coffee and sit down in the comfortable chair. Begin to turn those magazine pages. Notice what pictures or articles you are most interested in.
(These ideas come directly from Julie Cameron’s books, “The Artist Way” and “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again.)
3. Write down your dreams in your journal.
Finally, a quote from yours truly,
There comes a time in an American woman’s life – somewhere around the age of 50 –
Where she becomes invisible:
Businesses no longer market to her
The fashion industry forsakes her
Television does not portray her and radio does not broadcast to her
Social and print media do not know her
Men and her children have forgotten her
Politicians certainly don’t mention her
Yet –
She represents one of the most wealthiest, powerful and largest groups in American
Ladies-of-a-Certain- Age – powerful, vital, dynamic
Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler January 5. 2020
