Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

My snowball bush is blooming. It is gorgeous.

Three years ago, when I walked into my house for the first time, the thing I remember most is this big blooming snowball bush framed in the large kitchen window you can see from the front door.

The sight is breathtaking and the memories associated with this bush are breathtaking as well. I never dreamed I would move as many times as I have since the age of 60. In fact, I thought they would “take me out boots first” from my big wonderful Craftsman bungalow in my home town of Denver, Colorado.

I loved that house; but as I aged, I began to understand this over 3,000 square foot house on a corner lot with 15 trees would become more than I wanted to handle, both physically and financially. After all, I was becoming aware of the wonderful time of life, the “golden years – as they are called,” opening up to me. I would soon have all the time I wanted to play and create and travel and enjoy. I did not want to be tied down to a big house and yard.

So, like many 60-something-age-women, I downsized. Actually, I downsized twice before I moved into my current home. I anticipate I will live here until I become an octogenarian, or maybe not.

This was not the script I imagined even 20 years ago. My parents stayed in their house until they died. My widowed grandmothers stayed in theirs until they were in poor health, and then they moved in with their daughters and son-in-laws.

Today, it is not unusual for a lady-of-a-certain-age to move. Our society has changed greatly since our parents’ time. Our grown children often have different values than we do. They and their children are more mobile than our generation. Homes and families just don’t seem to be valued like they once were. As older women, our world is vast compared to our mothers’ and grandmothers’ neighborhoods.

Moving presents many challenges for us. Since my last move was from the eastern part of Colorado to the western section, I was keenly aware of the cost of transporting my furniture and household items, some 250 miles over the high terrain of the Rocky Mountains. Believe me; I got rid of “lots of stuff.” It was so freeing. I have not missed any of it.

I certainly never thought I would be buying anymore furniture. But, of all things, I have recently bought a china closet and dining room table and six chairs. My old china closet was purchased at an unpainted furniture store. It was bought to go with my grandparent’s 1930’s era table and six chairs I had stripped and stained some 50-years ago. Although my house, built in 1989, is filled with antiques, my dining room pieces did not seem to fit in.

One day I was at a consignment store and found a beautiful new mission-style china closet I adored for $300. I bought it. Several months later, I dropped off a faucet I had replaced at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore. Guess what? I found a mission-style table and six chairs for $360. I bought them.

I must admit, I struggled getting rid of my old pieces. After all, I had owned them for over 50 years. Further, my mother bought my grandparents the table and chairs at the Pueblo, Colorado department store she worked at after graduating from high school. How could I possibly get rid of these pieces? What would my dead ancestors think of me? Then, I thought they would think I was crazy for hanging on to them for so long and moving them to all of the houses I have lived in!

Heirlooms for Hospice sent a truck out and picked up this furniture. Later I saw them in their store. I was so happy when I saw the price tags because I knew those dollars were going to a great cause and because I knew my furniture would be cherished by their new owners.

I can’t tell you what a burden seemed to be taken from my shoulders. It was hard for me to let go of those pieces because of my perceived “family responsibilities.” It seemed to me I was held prisoner by those beliefs.

Who knows? I may sell my 2,000 square-foot house on a third of an acre and buy a smaller house within walking distance to downtown. Believe me, I would have more time to play.   I could get rid of all my stuff,  not pay to have it moved, and have fun replacing it,like I did with my dining room furniture. I don’t want anything to hold me down anymore.

As a lady-of-a-certain-age, I have found a new identity for myself. Furniture and clothes and houses are not as important to me as they once were.

As I write this blog, I am thinking about a poster I used to see and a saying I recently heard.

The poster showed a kitten curled up and asleep in an old blanket. It was titled “Home is where you make it.”

I can’t argue with this astonishing adage, “U-Hauls are not allowed in heaven!”

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, May 10, 2019