Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

This past holiday season I received a priceless gift. On the package was a card that read:

 To Elizabeth – “Look for the good and forget the bad”  

 From: The Universe, with much love

 When I opened the box, it was filled with joy.

Wow!

Such a simple message; but the Universe had to repeat it over and over to me until I finally got it, much to my vexation at almost age 72.

I am pleased to say it has already changed my life. This is what I am working on in 2019.

First, a friend suggested that I look for the good at one of those trying holiday dinners that I was dreading going to.  She said it would change everything, including my looks.  In the past I am sure you could tell from my face just how uptight I was because I was dressed to the hilt in my coat of armor.  Naturally, my features softened as I anticipated seeing something good.  Sure, enough, the hostess had prepared a vegetarian dish just for me. I was touched by her care and concern.  You know, I had a good time that night.  People seemed to be pleasant and to like me.

Second, another friend told me how powerful the daily reader “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy,” by Sarah Ban Breathnach has been for her.  I decided to get it and bought the Kindle edition for my iPhone, so it could be handy to read anytime.   After all, I was headed to one of those hard holiday dinners and thought this book might help me get through it.  Sure enough, December 20, the first selection I read entitled “The Glad Game Reconsidered,” was all about Pollyanna. Sarah wrote, “Pollyanna did not pretend that everything was good, her creator, Eleanor Porter, insists.  Instead she represented a cheery, courageous acceptance of the facts.  She understood that unpleasant things are always with us, but she believed in mitigating them by looking for whatever good there is in what is.”

Third, while scurrying around my town struggling to finish last-minute holiday errands, I heard on National Public Radio (NPR) Terry Gross, the host and co-executive producer of “Fresh Air, “ interview  Joshua Coleman, Ph. D.  In his book, “When Parents Hurt Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along,” he talks about emphasizing to yourself your strengths and achievements as a parent and as an individual, instead of focusing on suffering and failure.  Dr. Coleman even suggests carrying with you pictures of happy times.  This was quite a revelation for me. I have lots of pleasant memories of good times with all of my children and have decided to center my attention on those.

Fourth, Sarah Ban Breathnach January eighth reading is about the happiness habit.  She writes, “Ultimately, genuine happiness can only be realized once we commit to making it a personal priority in our lives.  …. Today you may not be familiar with the happiness habit.  But like any new behavior, happiness can be learned.”  Hmmm – seems like Abraham Lincoln said something like “You can be as happy as you make up your mind to be.”

Finally, I got to thinking about how my favorite author Melody Beattie talks about finding the joy in life by observing the little things that happen each day.  Over the years, I have tried this and find it to be true.  For example, snow was not forecast today; but, this morning when I opened the shade on the window above my kitchen table, big fluffy flakes were softly falling from the sky.  It was such a beautiful scene.  I tucked that memory in my Box for Joy.

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler January 11. 2019

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