Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

“What are you going to write about next, Elizabeth?” asked Linda at a dinner I attended Monday night.  “Well, I am not sure.  It seems like I have writer’s block, I replied.  “I have a topic for you. Why don’t you write about change, Linda stated.

“What I mean is the changes that occur to us as we age.  For example, I am a retired pharmacist.  I retired at 71.  Let me tell you all this talk about not collecting Social Security until age 70 is bunk!  Standing on our feet all day and being ‘quick as a whip’ with decisions, just doesn’t happen at 70!” Linda went on to explain.

“Further,” she said.  “People don’t understand the aging process.  They expect us to do what we did at 40!  Tell them all about that, Elizabeth,” she emphatically declared.

Mmmmm.  I went home and thought more about what Linda had to say.

Change? Yep, there are tons of ways we alter as we age.  Yes, younger people often don’t recognize these changes.  Maybe, we need to identify them ourselves, become aware, or maybe, not deny because it is not “cool” to be older in our society.

Upon further reflection, it seems to me that what we are dealing with is denial because our culture is so youth oriented.  This thinking runs smack into the reason I write this blog each month.  Women past 50 became invisible and not valued.   In other cultures, older women are revered and are often asked their advice – asked to share their wisdom. Our culture tries to hide age – plastic surgery, dyed hair, medications of all sorts to belie the aging process, etc.  Older women are rarely seen in fashion publications of any sort or as television newscasters.

How sad that many of us don’t even know about or recognize or are even aware of what happens to us as we age, let alone identify what wonderful knowledge we bring and the value we add.  Acceptance of the aging process, I have found, is not easy because it hurts my pride. Like I identified in my February blog, ‘Driving,’  “I want to be that In that hot chick, wearing tight cords and madras shirt, having fun dragging down 16^th Street on the weekends, flirting with the boys in the next car over. “ So, slowly, I have begun to understand how important it is for me to take action in not denying or putting down my age and to take action by talking about it with other women my age and  younger people. There is so much I don’t know because this information was not handed down to me like the famed family recipes were.

Below are some examples I spotted in my own life. It would be helpful if you shared yours with us in the comment section of this blog.

Two weeks ago, I had a problem booking a Southwest flight to California.  I called the airlines.  A polite man answered and assisted me.  However, when he got to the part about making any changes to the reservation, he rattled off the regulations so fast he lost me.  I said, “You know I am an old lady, would you mind slowing down a little because I am having a hard time understanding you?”  He did.  I remembered that our brains do not process as fast as they once did and furthermore, like many of us, I wear hearing aids.  They definitely help me; but, I still struggle at times understanding.

Just last May in my blog I wrote this about my trip to Paris with my daughter:  “But, traveling at 70 was not as easy for me as my first international trip at age 45. I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but “this ol’ gal” is slowing down and the world is speeding up, for sure!  I would not have had a splendid time without my daughter’s help in getting to and maneuvering in airports, navigating subways and trains, and finding my way in this big city.”  I think I need to start talking more with my children about recognizing this when I am with them, I still  try and act like the super mom,  managing it all.

I shared this one with Linda at the dinner.  Several years ago my beloved oldest grandson, age 9 or 10, said to me as he pointed to my arms, “Grandma, your skin is ugly!”  I responded back, “Well, Buddy Boy, my arms used to look just like yours, and I’ve got news for you one of these days your arms are going to look just like mine.”  At 9 or 10, I don’t think I had the awareness that I would grow up one day and change much in personal appearance

In that February blog, I wrote:  You see I found out during this class (AARP’s Smart Driver™ On-Line Course)  that I do not have the reaction time, agility, flexibility or eyes and ears that I had in 1963. What a revelation that was.  I now drive much more – shall we say – “mindfully.”

Ladies-of-a-certain-age are those invisible, powerful and dynamic women in our society. Be proud.  You’ve come a long way, baby!

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, May 14, 2018