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Maybe retirement is around the bend for you, or you have been retired for a while. Either way, life has lost a bit of its luster and possibly a bit scary too. You’re feeling parked with no idea how to get rolling again. I can relate to those frightening stuck feelings, especially when I consider where I came from and all the twists and turns life took to get me here.
Here are some moves to get you rolling again.
It Helps To Know Where You’ve Been
Did you get where you planned on going by now?
Unless you own a super-duper crystal ball, there is no way you could have ever anticipated 2023 from when you first became cognizant that you would eventually grow up and have your own life as an adult.
Take a periscope look back to the 1950s and early 1960s, depending on your age. This reflection helps to confirm not only why—at times—the world seems so wacky now but also shows us how far and fast we traveled from the American lifestyle back then. Wow! Since we ventured down that road, we can certainly maneuver what’s ahead.
Think back to when you were age seven and ask yourself these questions:
Where did I live?
What adults lived with me, and what did they do?
Where did I go to school?
What did I wear when I went to school?
What did I study at school?
What school sports did I play?
If you took notes in school, how did you record them?
How did you get to school?
What did you do for fun?
What technology did you have at home and school?
What skills did you learn to support yourself in the future?
Now, to glimpse how fast American life changed, ask yourself the above questions as a teenager, say 17, ten years later.
Before age 10, I lived in one of Denver’s new suburban areas. My dad worked for a paper company, and my mom—like all moms on our block—stayed home. I went to two grade schools because Denver was bursting at the seams with new families and was rapidly building schools to keep up with the population. Of course, I wore a dress or skirt and blouse to school no matter how cold the weather was. I took a school bus and froze at the bus stop even though I had snow pants on, which I promptly took off when I got in the school door. Girls were not allowed to wear pants, you know! I I played 4-square and tetherball. Eventually, we got a color TV and our own phone line.
By the time I was 17, many moms on our block worked. My mom learned to drive and had a car. We had a portable typewriter and our own phone line. My best friend had a pink princess phone in her room! We eventually got a second boring phone in my parent’s bedroom. I especially loved going to the golf range with my dad and being his caddy on the golf course. I never saw a woman do either. Our high school just had boys’ sports teams. I loved Nancy Drew and thought it would be great to be a lawyer like her dad. My parents made me take shorthand and typing in high school. They wanted me to have skills I could use if my future husband died.
Answering those questions brought home the changes occurring in my life and society. I summarized many of them when I wrote this in the introduction of my last psychological thriller, Murder, and a Blue Spruce. “…I grew up where the plains met the southern border of Denver shortly after World War II. Civilization stopped about a mile from where my folks’ new blond brick ranch house was built in 1954. I rode my bicycle a short distance to the city’s edge as a little girl, Tall prairie grass enveloped me as I drove down whatever path I could find through this entrancing vegetation. Houses and highways gobbled up that prairie before I reached my teen years.”
What answers did you come up with?
We Charted New Territory, Broke Trail, in the 1960s and 1970s
While you have your periscope out, look at what happened to you as profound changes occurred in American Society during these decades, thanks to ever-growing economic needs, some powerful women, and—of course—the pill.
In the 60s and 70s, we revved up our engines and started traveling where few American women had ever gone.
Think back now, and ask yourself what was happening in your life during this period when women entered the workforce in droves.
Did your mom work from 9 to 5? Did you?
What was your first job?
How did you prepare for that job?
What did you wear to work?
Did you get any computer experience?
How about flying in a commercial airplane?
Did you go on family vacations?
Did you burn your bra?
Did you start a family?
Did you live in a diverse neighborhood?
What do you remember most from these times in our country?
I vividly remember seeing the Kent State Massacre on television and many Viet Nam and race riots. Painting our family room as our infant son swung in his little swing, I watched the impeachment process against Richard Nixon in the United States House of Representatives. My volunteer positions as a newsletter editor and group leader for La Leche League afforded me valuable experience. I still know many media people I met back then.
We Were Cruising Along In Our 40s and 50s
Companies loved us. After all, they knew women were the primary drivers, and decision-makers, for their goods and services. They pictured us in all sorts of advertising and promotional materials—magazines, newspapers, catalogs, and—eventually—on the internet. We looked good. Our few wrinkles didn’t show much, and many of us colored our hair.
And we had money, honey! We earned it, married it, inherited it-any or all combinations.
Yes! We worked from 9 to 5, and many of us worked much longer hours. We had two or more jobs or were in senior management, with staff and a seat on the board.
Did I mention the previous unheard-of high divorce rates? What about living arrangements—live-in same-sex partner—that were never mentioned when we were growing up?
Boy, did we travel for work or pleasure! Commercial airline flights were starting when we were growing up. Now, we could go anywhere in the world. We had our own cars and trucks, and some of us had our own campers.
Now – Once Again-We Are Ignored And Scared About The Pot Holes On The Road Ahead
We don’t have our “girlie figures.” We’ve either retired or are about ready to retire from positions in all sectors of society. Pharmaceutical and health organizations love us. Few others do. We are rarely seen in advertisements, promotional materials, or on the web. Our children have long since flown out of the nest. Grandchildren are aging, and some of us have great-grandchildren. Many of us are divorced or widowed.
Older women have become invisible in the retirement planning process. Just as we were before, we revved our engines down the race track to secure our place at the starting line decades ago. So, no wonder a little déjà vu seems to permeate our lives.
A literature review on retirement showed that most were authored by men and dealt with health and wealth. A few expounded on creating and then emptying a bucket list.
Last month, CNN Host Don Lemon left his position because of offensive comments about women and stating on-air that the presidential hopeful Niki Haley “isn’t in her prime” because she is over 40.
Respected NPR Host Mary Louise Kelly’s memoir How Fast It Goes writes about her incredible juggling act to “do it all.” She is now in a place evaluating the results and what’s next.
I know several women—myself included—who have gone through bucket lists and now wonder what’s next and why.
Of course, health, wealth, and bucket lists are important topics, but so is taking advantage of this unique time to enhance our lives, explore what intrigues us, expand our world, and help it a little.
We Can — As We Always Have —Zoom Ahead!
Note: This blog is not financially supported by any company or organization
Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, April 11, 2023
