Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

Over 100 degrees for 10 days or more, the only time for me to play pickleball and socialize with my friends is a ghastly early hour of the morn.  That’s the situation most July and some August days in Western Colorado, where I live.  It’s hard for me not to be grumpy and tired.  It’s even more difficult if I hole up in my home and do not go anywhere.  Isolation does my psyche and physique no good.  A good swing at a pickleball and a good yak with a friend helps my body and soul. 

I never expected to experience an aha stellar insight when I chased down an errant ball rolling to the edge of the court that was still wet from irrigation water for the adjacent park.  I remember pursuing the yellow ball as it whirled round and round towards the corner of the court, right through a puddle of water.  I leaned down to retrieve the plastic ball stamped with its distinct pattern of holes. A refreshing blast of cool air bombarded my hot red face. I looked up and saw the green grass and leafy tree screen of the park. Oh, my, just for an instant, I experienced a teensy respite from the brutal blaze of the sun.  

It wasn’t possible to linger there.  After all, three people were eagerly awaiting my return to the court and to finish the hotly contested contest we were having.

Later it occurred to me that other moments of relief happened when life wasn’t so cool, so to speak.  If I could be on the lookout for them. I might be able to at least get a breather in trying times. 

One such event occurred a few days later while I was driving my car and the driver in front of me did an annoying thing. I could feel the tension. For some reason, I looked up and saw a puffy cloud. My stress dissipated like magic. 

When I got home, I sat on my living room couch and looked out the window. I saw my neighbor’s red rose. It seemed magnetized and magical.  A calm came over me.

Stress and tension seem to thicken the very air these days. 

I got to thinking about these little respites of relief and decided to look for them. After all, a ball rolling through cool water, a big cloud, and a rose brought me peace. Maybe I would find more bliss if I started looking. 

Of course, I know other tricks to calm down. There are things over the years I have learned to do at these moments. If only I could remember to use them.

I remembered hearing Norman Vincent Peale—yes, THE Norman Vincent Peale—speak at a luncheon I went to a good 40 years ago.  He was talking about stress and suggested having scenic scenes in your mind you could summon when life got tough.  

I’m not sure I would have the presence of mind to do that, but I could make myself a little mental photo album. It would have lots of pictures of sunsets and flowers and grandkids and pets in it. 

Another trick I could use is a skill I have learned from the zillion yoga classes I have taken. I remember one instructor saying, “Change your breath, to change your attitude.”  If nothing else, focusing on good-old belly breathing gets your mind off what’s happening. It’s very unobtrusive. Unless you are with a master yoga teacher, no one is going to know you are breathing deep, holding it for a couple of counts, and slowly releasing it.  I always feel better when I do mindful breathing.

An additional teensy respite to release distress came to mind. It is a suggestion from the Queen of Hearts, herself in Alice in Wonderland.  The Queen said to the King something like, “It won’t hurt dear if you don’t make a memorandum of it!”

Oh, dear, then there is Emmett Fox.  Emmett Fox? Why, yes.  Wikipedia identifies him as an Irish New Thought spiritual leader of the early 20th century. One of the tidbits I remember reading from his books is to stay out of murky waters. Who wants to walk in dirty water after all?  My interpretation of “murky waters” are unpleasant critical thoughts or what I call “mind bitching.” Sure it gives me relief at times, but nothing is as refreshing as a whiff of cool air and the view of green I experienced on the pickleball court.  I’m most prone to wander in those waters when I am tired.  I try and remind myself each morn not to wade into murky water during the day.  

As I pondered teensy respites for release of distress, a new trick I recently learned is the 10-minute afternoon nap.  Like many ladies of a certain age, I have back problems.  Fortunately for me, I do not have much pain.  The chronic condition is tiring, though. So, what works for me is to drape my back over my bed, extend my arms over my head, resting them above me, and dangle my legs down from my knees over the edge of the bed Sometimes I drift off to sleep. Before getting up, I lift my legs straight up. You could say it is a version of the yoga pose, “legs up the wall,” for a couple of minutes. I get up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day.  

Oh yes, a great release for me is to take my dog for a walk.  This time of year, I get up early to avoid the heat. Dog Dolly and I are out the door early.  With the cool, enlivening breeze of a new day, birds chirping, and quiet, I experience a teeny respite of relief from stress.  When we get home, I give Dolly a treat and then I head to the court or yoga studio. It’s way too hot for Dolly to go with me in the car.   In the evening, I like to sit on my enclosed sunporch with Katie, my feline, on my lap.  There is nothing like the comfort of a cat as the sun goes down. 

Copyright – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, August 1, 2022