Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

Well, I am not the only one!  It is always so reassuring to know that I am not the only one doing________________.  Sunday I say my friend Kathy. Like me, she divorced after many years of marriage, sold the marital home, bought another home, downsized to another home, and now has that house on the market.

Kathy and I probably move more often than most ladies of a certain age; but, moving at our age is not uncommon for a variety of reasons, including these needs: economic, space, social, family, transportation, and medical.  Other reasons include divorce, death of a spouse/partner and illness. I wanted to share with you a little of my moving experience because it is likely that a move is in your future, too.

I never thought I would move much after the age of 50; but, that first little house I bought as a divorced woman was just too small (I was so scared of economic failure when I purchased it), the next house I bought I told my children they would be taking me out “boots first,” a cowboy phrase for dead. I never thought my seemingly boundless energy would ever wane, but after age 60 it did.  I really loved that house, a 3,000 square foot, 1924 two-story Craftsman Bungalow on a corner lot with a dozen trees or so.

Not quite three years ago, I bought the house I am currently in.  It seemed like the perfect house for me for the next 15 years (age 80*) and maybe many more.  It’s a darling 2,000 square foot Tudor Revival, 3 bedroom, 2 baths, split evenly between the main floor and the basement.  There’s nothing wrong with this house.  I have wonderful neighbors and a beautiful neighborhood; but, I am far away from the mountains, my grandchildren are a good 45 minute drive, and the dirt alley – yes, Denver has many dirt alleys – drives me crazy.  The good news is with the increase in the real estate market, I can easily sell, buy something smaller and have more money to play and knock off items on my bucket list.

I am actively looking for another house; I am taking more things into consideration than when I bought my other houses.  These include:

•  Economic – I am more aware of property taxes, house insurance and incidental costs, like garbage pick up than ever before.  Further – and much more important to me – I have become more keenly aware of how short life is and the benefits of extra dollars for fun. I ask myself, “Would you rather have a family room or go to Sicily?”  The answer for me is easy.
• Space – A good portion of my current 2,000 square foot house rarely gets used; but, I still have to heat/cool, clean and insure it.  So, I don’t need so much space.  I do want to keep my bedroom on the same floor as the kitchen and to have a bathroom nearby.  Ideally, I would love to have the laundry on the main floor. Happy with dirt under my fingernails and a large dog to play with, a yard is still essential for me.
• Social – I love the diversity of age I have enjoyed in the neighborhood of this home and my past two and I have benefitted from the racial diversity too.  (If I could not live in a house, it would be important for me to live in a retirement community with lots of activities and opportunities to be with people of all ages.)
• Family – Yes, my face always lights up when one of my children walks into my house. My heart is overjoyed when I see one of my grandchildren.  I was lucky to see my grandparents a couple of times a year when I was growing up. That is not nearly enough time for me to watch these youngsters grow!
• Transportation – For years I lived in the suburbs and never saw the inside of a bus.  I was worried if something happened to my car how I would get to work and pick up a kid.  My visits to Europe opened my eyes to how little I need a car, how expensive they really are, and how much they negatively contribute to our environment.  So, I am looking in areas with good bus service, bike trails, and ones that are close to light rail.
• Medical – I dearly love the town of Palisade, Colorado and dream of having a second home there.  However, it occurred to me that there isn’t even a doctor in town and the closest hospital is about 20 miles away.  Too many of my friends recently have developed serious medical conditions for me to ignore the importance of close medical services.
• Shopping – It is so nice to walk to the grocery store, coffee shop, library, garden center, and hair salon.  I want to continue to have the option to walk to the store when I move.

Even with this house I had to get rid of more of my stuff to get it ready for market.  I participated in the neighborhood garage sale. Because I have moved several times since the age of 50, I ask myself before I buy something, “Do you want to move it?” When I buy clothes, I try to donate similar items in my closet. I am looking so forward to my next house.  I know I will go through a grieving period for this house, neighbors and community.  Life goes on. There are far worse things than moving I have found.