Ladies of a Certain Age ~ for those invisible powerful, dynamic, vital women

‘Tis true – Like dashing reindeer, a whole week of December has already flown by!

I came up with a list of ideas for my sanity at this time and thought they might be helpful to you. They include: family, self-care, easy dishes and “our immortal soul!”  Please, if you have tips for these times, write them in the comment area of this blog.  God knows we can use all of the help we can get.

 Well, let’s get the big one out of the way first – family.

 Recently, a friend asked me to write about this very subject.  Well, I am no expert.  I hope you have the perfect family, especially adult children.  Try as I might, I don’t.  So, here are a few things I have to offer:

Flexibility – Year’s ago, I had a boss who said “Ride loose in the saddle!” I have found this useful advice with my grown daughters.  Maybe it is because their lives are about ten times as busy as my life was when I was their age (mid-40s). I know that getting them to commit to a family holiday event a month out is impossible, even two weeks or one week out for that matter. Being aware that it is unlikely they will commit on my time schedule has helped. Also, I learned about “Plan B.”  Whether my girls are going to celebrate with me or not, I am going to have a pleasant holiday time. So, I come up with alternatives for me such as going to a movie, dining with friends or volunteering.

Communication – They don’t always return phone calls, emails or texts.  What can I say? Many of you have shared similar frustrations. I have found it helpful to communicate often, even if they don’t respond, and in as many forms as possible.

Unresolved anger – Oh, now we are getting to the “juice!”  One creative new friend of mine told me that at her yoga class the instructor said that we store our anger in the lumbar region of the back, and then did poses to help them. My friend took it one step further and hand-dyed a beautiful scarf in oranges and reds with blobs of black and titled it “Unresolved Anger.” I think it would be helpful to wear a scarf like that or something just to remind myself you never know when a flare-up is going to occur and not to be caught off guard.  It seems this anger flashes suddenly whenever “things are going well.”  One friend told me she uses the “zip the lips” strategy when anger flames in her family.

Taking care of myself

 Here are a few things I noted:

Walk – My dog Bonnie Buttercup will tell you I have really slipped up the past two days taking her for our daily walk because I am a ninny that does not like the cold.  But, most days I bundle up and we walk around the neighborhood. It is fun to see the decorations and to clear my mind.

Sleep – Thank goodness I no longer have to be at work at “early-hour a.m.”  I try and keep to my schedule as much as possible, but if I wake up and don’t go back to sleep for awhile or get to bed later than normal, I don’t “read myself the riot act” about not getting up at my “normal hour.”

Yoga – I have found that it just doesn’t pay to skip my yoga classes.  I’ve learned that if I don’t attend, I get stiff and sore!

Easy dishes for gatherings

 I no longer put myself down about not cooking special recipes. Here are three of my favorite “quickies.”

Dessert –   Ingredients – Pepperidge Farm frozen chocolate fudge or coconut crème cake, four or five small candy canes, one tablespoon butter, two tablespoons powder sugar and a dab of milk. Cut cake into sixteen parts –follow the diagram on the box for eight and then cut each slice again to make those “chic” triangle shapes. Put on a pretty dish.  With a rolling pin, bang the candy canes. Mix butter and powdered sugar together, and add enough milk so this is malleable.   Put a dab on each cake piece, throw crushed candy on top. Then, toss any remaining candy, around the rim of the dish. Amazing! Angels will faint!

Dip – Ingredients – One carton cream cheese, one can cranberry sauce, sprigs of rosemary (optional), fancy crackers. Put cream cheese in a pretty bowl.  Stir in as much of the cranberry sauce as you want.  Chop the rosemary, if you are using, and stir in. Put bowl on nice plate and surround with crackers.  Wow!

Salad – Ingredients – one bag of spinach leaves, one carton small tomatoes, crumbles of blue cheese (optional), blue cheese or Italian dressing.  Put the spinach and tomatoes in a pretty bowl. Add crumbled blue cheese if you want.  Toss with dressing of your choice. Oh so festive!

Time for your soul –

From very early times, the peoples of the earth have recognized that solstice time is extraordinary. Now, many religions have celebrations at this time. For me, maybe it is the darkness of night or all the pretty holiday lights, I like to engage now in some personal private spiritual time. This effort has helped me work through sticky issues.

I also like to have a solstice party and throw my list in the fire of things that didn’t turn out (I have a small fire pit on my patio) and toss my list of hopes and wishes for the next year into the flame as well.  If I can’t have a party, I just do it myself.

Happy holidays everyone – Remember from very early times, older women have been revered for their wisdom.  Revere you this year.

Copywrite – Elizabeth J. Wheeler, December 9, 2016